To outsiders, being an artist often looks like a gift—a gift of innate talent or ability. But I beg to differ. Being an artist isn’t about being gifted. It’s about having the guts to be vulnerable.
That said, I used to feel vulnerable only inside the studio. But lately that vulnerability follows me into the shower and in and out of the car.
Basically the world I’ve relied on my entire life – feels thin and frayed.
Julia Cameron wrote, “Creativity requires space—not just physical, but mental space.” Well, I gotta say these days my mental space is filled with news headlines.
And it feels too much.
And it is not a state from which typical originality flows – unless you marry art and societal injustice as Goya did in The Third of May, and other works by artists like Rivera, Picasso, Kahlo, and Kollwitz.
They knew art was needed because of the chaos.
Indeed, historically art often helped make sense of the chaos.
There’s another quote that haunts me: “If you don’t program your mind, the world will do it for you.”
I guess I am saying the world is winning. The grief, the anger, the anxiety and ultimate numbness—have landed.
In truth I am having to remind myself that it takes grit to both paint and live with any kind of integrity. Both require not just inspiration, but endurance. Both demand the willingness to be uncomfortable, to persist without guarantee of recognition.
A modicum of talent might open this chick’s studio door, but I am coming to believe walking through it means I may have to start painting how I feel.